WHAT STARTS WITH "F " AND ENDS WITH "K"

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'

Harry: '9.'

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'

Harry: '36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions.'

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry: 'Pants.'

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?'

Harry: 'Coconut.'

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'

Harry: 'Shake hands.'

The principal was trembling..

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'

Harry: 'Firetruck.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.....'

EIFFEL TOWER TO GET A RIVAL

The Eiffel Tower will soon be getting a rival for the French capital's skyline when a 71-storey landmark skyscraper is built in La Defense on the edge of Paris.

French architect Jean Nouvel, the recent winner of the Pritzker Prize, the Nobel of architecture, has been selected for the construction of the colourful, high-tech Signal tower, which at 300 metres is almost as high as the Eiffel Tower.

It will contain offices, luxury apartments and shops and will also be the centrepiece of an attempt to remake the La Defense office ghetto into a 24-hour city, rivalling the “old Paris”, reports The Independent.

The project was launched by President Nicolas Sarkozy in 2006 when he was the most senior local politician in the wealthy suburban departement of Hauts-de-Seine, just west of Paris proper.

Jean Nouvel said his building could become “the first expression of a new centre for the development of a Greater Paris ... without replacing the historic centre.”

HONEY: A MAGIC REMEDY FOR COMMON DISEASES

You have been keeping a hawk's eye on your body weight and are a regular at the gym. You also drink lots of water and fiber-rich diet. You even follow experts' advice on taking care of your hair and skin. But what about those eyes? How do you protect them from the stress that is caused by working long hours before the computer? Well, here's an easy answer to that: Take the traditional route add a little honey to your daily diet.

Yes, whether its your grandmother, or the neighbourhood doctor, everybody will agree to this fact that honey not only helps protect the eyes, but also help improve your eyesight. While there are plenty of home remedies from honey, we bring you a few here:

Perry Kharpuri is a researcher based in Shillong, a place well-known for it's large-scale honey production. Perry's advice is , "mix two teaspoons of honey with carrot juice and consume regularly", to improve your eye sight and cure problems such as watering of eyes.

In cold, cough and congested chest, two teaspoons of honey with equal quantity of ginger juice should be consumed frequently. This is one of the oldest and most popular remedies that millions of Indians already follow. The other such popular remedy is to take one spoon of fresh honey mixed with the juice of half a lemon in a glass of lukewarm water in order to get cured of constipation, hyperacidity and obesity.

Now, Swapan Debnath, a homeopath says that honey can help control your BP as well. According to him, two teaspoons of honey should be mixed with one teaspoon of garlic juice and taken on a regular basis.

Maheep Kohli owns a bee farm in Moga, Punjab and she has a few honey-based remedies up her sleep as well. One of them is a mixture of honey, ginger juice and black pepper powder, mixed in equal quantities. When consumed thrice daily helps to relieve symptoms of asthma.

However, here are also a few words of caution from Maheep: Always make sure that the honey you are taking is not heated, avoid taking honey when you are exposed to high temperature.

And last but least, never ever mix honey with hot and spicy foods and fermented beverages like whisky, rum, brandy, etc. Honey includes nectar of various flowers some of which may be poisonous and when it is mixed with hot and spicy foods, the poisonous properties get enhanced, sometimes to the extent of being fatal.

CHEERS TO HEALTHY DRINKING

In Punjab, where a majority of the people prefer a glass full of Lassi, a traditional curd-based drink to beat the heat, several outlets are now offering fresh fruit juice-based health drinks.

One such popular outlet in Chandigarh is 'Bloom'. Many people say that if you are in Chandigarh, you must savour the delicious and healthy food and fruit juices offered at this place.

The Ayurveda-based health boosters have been formulated by a group of highly experienced doctors and is claimed to be 100 per cent organic.

Bloom boosters are a rich source of alkaloids, glycosides, anti-oxidants, vitamins and other essential nutrients and make an ideal substitute for the missing nutrients in our body.

It's the brainchild of Amit Roy Sharma, a non-resident Indian who felt the dire need of a health drink bar in his hometown Chandigarh.

Sharma, CEO of Bloom Juices Private Limited, said: "Each time I came to India, I struggle to find a health drink, snacks and food in the market. So I thought, not just in Punjab, but across the country, there is a real opportunity to serve people healthy and nutritious drinks as well as healthy foods. So, we experimented and researched on that. We found that the market is having appetite, as people are becoming more health conscious. There is nothing parallel to Bloom that offers people something like this in market."

SATANIC STARBUCKS

	A man died and went to straight down to hell. The devil greeted him and gave him a guided tour of the place. He told the man that there were three rooms he could chose from in which to spend eternity. The first room was full of flames so hot the man couldn''t even breathe. He told the devil that there was no way he was choosing that room. So they moved on. The next room they came to was full of people who were being beaten and tortured. It looked so painful the man could not watch. He told the devil he definitely didn''t want that room, and they moved on. The last room they came to was full of people who were just sitting around drinking coffee and relaxing. The man looked for a while and then told the devil this room would be all right. The devil gestured for him to sit down and the man took a seat. He did, sipped his coffee and felt really pleased with his choice. After a few minutes, a voice came over the loudspeaker and said, "Break time is over! Time for another 10,000 push-ups!"

CONGRESSMAN'S MONEY

	A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money." The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States congressman!" The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"

NO SMOKING DAY SPECIAL

THE DOG'S DUTY

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children fell to discussing the dog`s duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he`s just for good luck."
Then a third child brought the argument to a close...
"They use the dog," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

AIR CANADA

A guy sitting at an airport bar noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a flight attendant; but which airline does she work for?"

Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and said, "Love to fly and it shows?"

She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself, she doesn't work for Delta.

A few seconds later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again, "Something special in the air?"

She gave him the same confused look. He mentally kicked himself and scratched American Airlines off of the list.

Next he tried "I would really love to fly your friendly skies?"

This time the woman barked back at him "Man, what the fu*k do you want?"

The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, "Ahhh, Air Canada".

BARTER

As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from.
"America," the husband replied.
Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded, "She`s not from the States."
"Yes, I am." said the wife.
He looked at her and asked, "Is he your husband?"
"Yes," she replied.
Turning to the husband, he offered.... "I ll give you 100 camels for her."
The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence.
Finally he replied, "She`s not for sale."
After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the husband replied, I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home."

UPSIDE DOWN

A blind man was traveling in his private jet when he detected something was wrong. He made his way to the cockpit and got no response from his pilot.
The blind guy then found the radio and started calling the tower
"Help! Help!"
The tower came back and asked, "What`s the problem?"
The blind guy yelled, "Help me! I`m blind... the pilot is dead, and we`re flying upside down!"
The tower comes back and asked, "How do you know you`re upside down?"
"Because the shit is running down my back!"