SATANIC STARBUCKS

	A man died and went to straight down to hell. The devil greeted him and gave him a guided tour of the place. He told the man that there were three rooms he could chose from in which to spend eternity. The first room was full of flames so hot the man couldn''t even breathe. He told the devil that there was no way he was choosing that room. So they moved on. The next room they came to was full of people who were being beaten and tortured. It looked so painful the man could not watch. He told the devil he definitely didn''t want that room, and they moved on. The last room they came to was full of people who were just sitting around drinking coffee and relaxing. The man looked for a while and then told the devil this room would be all right. The devil gestured for him to sit down and the man took a seat. He did, sipped his coffee and felt really pleased with his choice. After a few minutes, a voice came over the loudspeaker and said, "Break time is over! Time for another 10,000 push-ups!"

CONGRESSMAN'S MONEY

	A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money." The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States congressman!" The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"

THE DOG'S DUTY

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children fell to discussing the dog`s duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he`s just for good luck."
Then a third child brought the argument to a close...
"They use the dog," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

AIR CANADA

A guy sitting at an airport bar noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a flight attendant; but which airline does she work for?"

Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and said, "Love to fly and it shows?"

She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself, she doesn't work for Delta.

A few seconds later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again, "Something special in the air?"

She gave him the same confused look. He mentally kicked himself and scratched American Airlines off of the list.

Next he tried "I would really love to fly your friendly skies?"

This time the woman barked back at him "Man, what the fu*k do you want?"

The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, "Ahhh, Air Canada".